I recently got back from a trip. Before I left, I had put a few blocks in my schedule, so that on my return, I was not scheduled back to back. Jetlagged upon arriving back in the office, I was grateful for a couple of days that were not full-throttle. Putting those blocks on my schedule before I left was an example of practicing kindness to my future self. The idea of practicing kindness towards your future self is a powerful one.

Every decision that we can make today impacts our life in the future. We often frame our present-day decisions through the lens of good choices. However, for whom are these choices good? Instead, thinking through our present-day decisions as what would be kind to our future self might be more helpful. This approach helps us think through more thoroughly how our actions today will shape our future. Cultivating kindness towards our future self helps us develop the kindness habit.

Thinking about a future self provides a small amount of useful detachment. My future self is me, but it's also not me (only my present self is me). This detachment can be immensely helpful, as it subtly ratchets down the ego we all carry. I’m not doing this for myself, I’m doing this for this other person, my future self. How much of what we do would be different if we fully considered the perspective of our future self?

With a fairly high degree of certainty, our future self will not want to be lonely. So, what can we do today to be kind to our future self, and prevent loneliness? We can invest in our relationships, and ensure that we are cultivating strong connections with the people around us, building loving relationships that will endure. This makes us happy now, but is a tremendous kindness to our future self as well. After all, it is our future self that will primarily bear the consequences of the decisions we make today.

Our future self would probably like to be healthy. We can show kindness to our future self by making decisions today that preserve and build our health. Our future self will certainly want working lungs and strong muscles– how do we deliver those gifts to our future self?

Kindness towards our future self is not the same as sacrificing today for a better tomorrow. For example, while it might be a kindness to our future self to have adequate financial resources, it is not a kindness to have money but not loving relationships or happy memories.

Thinking about the wants and needs and feelings of a future self can also be a useful exercise to really visualize what the future might feel like. How would our future self feel about 20 years of smoking? Or about not quitting now? How would our future self feel about not addressing problems with our partner? How would our future self feel about spending too little time with the kids? Present day self says “I’m going to regret this.” Future self does regret it. Present day self says this will be a good idea. Future self is grateful.

If this whole idea of future self feels like another way of saying consider your actions today, trust your instincts. This idea is not revolutionary, and it's not complicated. It is, however, a shift in perspective that will hopefully be helpful in living a better life. Adding this idea into your thought process is a powerful tool to help your future self.

Cheers,

Doc

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