We have a tendency to think of things in binary terms—on or off, yes or no, true or false, good or bad. In reality, though, most things are better thought of as existing on a spectrum—even things that we do not often think of as that way. This can be challenging because the belief structures that we use to navigate life are often framed in binary terms.
All-or-nothing thinking is a common cognitive distortion linked to stress and anxiety, while recognizing gray areas allows us to reframe situations more constructively. When we see things in binary terms, the stakes often feel higher than when viewed as a spectrum. Binary thinking can lead us to rigid worldviews and oversimplified solutions It sorts people into opposing camps, which makes compromise difficult. Reducing our cognitive distortions helps us solve problems better– and suffer less.
Thinking on a continuum creates space for dialogue and gradual shifts in perspective. Seeing traits, skills, and mindsets as existing on a continuum reinforces the idea that progress is always possible, enabling a growth mindset rather than a fixed one. We can move in different directions without necessarily moving from "on" to "off." We are not static beings, and neither are the challenges, skills, or beliefs we navigate. By recognizing that change happens gradually and along a continuum, we give ourselves and others the flexibility to grow, adjust, and move forward without the pressure of an all-or-nothing mindset.
For example, there has been a lot of discourse lately about democracy—or about democracy ending. But the idea of democracy is not binary; things can be more or less democratic. When our country was founded, some estimates suggest that only 6% of the population could vote—white, property-owning men. While America was unquestionably founded as a democracy, it was a democracy on a spectrum. Over time, the franchise expanded, and now, over 90% of the overall population is eligible to vote. This is not intended as a commentary on fairness, gerrymandering, or any of the other challenges that face our country, but simply an illustration that we are more democratic now than 200 years ago. Moreover, it also provides a useful framework for thinking about changes—not that we are “no longer a democracy,” but rather whether a change would make things more or less democratic. We can move in the wrong direction without reaching the end of the line, just like we can make progress without achieving perfection.
Recovery from addiction is another state that is not on/off, but exists on a continuum. Individuals make progress, encounter setbacks, and gradually move toward stability. Someone who has reduced (but not ended) substance use, sought therapy, and rebuilt aspects of their life might not be fully in recovery, still moving in the right direction, making progress, and doing better. The idea that recovery is binary is often a source of suffering– my patients will often stop using, but continue to struggle. Or, relapse and then assume that their recovery is over. In reality, this is not an on-off situation. Viewing recovery on a spectrum allows us to recognize and celebrate progress, while at the same time acknowledging we’re not there yet. Similarly, relapse does not mean failure, but it might mean movement in the wrong direction along the spectrum of recovery. The most important question is about the overall trajectory—whether someone is moving toward greater stability and well-being or away from it, rather than expecting perfection or immediate transformation.
Happiness is also not an all-or-nothing state where we are either completely happy or entirely miserable. It exists alongside other emotions, fluctuating based on life circumstances, mindset, and perspective. Someone can experience joy in certain aspects of life while simultaneously facing grief, stress, or disappointment in others. Viewing happiness as a spectrum allows us to acknowledge moments of contentment rather than feeling like we have failed if we are not constantly joyful. Pure joy may be an unhelpful idea, leading us to seek the absolute rather and embrace the relative. When we can appreciate some joy in a situation– even if not the pure type– it helps us attend to good parts of life, even though they are not perfect. Understanding joy on a spectrum encourages us to cultivate and appreciate positive experiences without denying the complexities of our emotional lives.
I often talk to patients who view trust as either present or absent. The sentiment is often either “I trust you” or “I do not trust you.” But trust is also something that is not simply present or absent; it is built, tested, and maintained over time. As such, it can increase or decrease, without being fully present or extinguished. A friendship or professional relationship can have varying levels of trust, influenced by past experiences, reliability, and honesty. Even when trust is damaged, it is often possible to rebuild it gradually rather than seeing it as permanently broken. This is important, because when we feel our trust has been betrayed, our instinct is often to say that all trust is gone– rather than saying there is now significantly less trust present than before. However, when we examine our own lives, we can recognize that it is seldom so black and white. We can have a little bit of trust, or a lot. Viewing trust on a spectrum allows for a more realistic approach to relationships, where setbacks do not necessarily mean the end and growth is always possible. This perspective promotes open communication, understanding, and the ability to repair connections rather than writing people off entirely after a mistake.
Viewing things as binary tends to simplify– and when we need simplicity, this can be a useful strategy. But when we are simplifying, let’s be clear that we are reducing a complex reality, instead of confusing the simple version for reality itself. Recognizing the space between the binary allows us to better reflect reality, make more nuanced decisions, and reduce unnecessary suffering. Shifting away from rigid binaries helps us foster greater understanding, empathy, adaptability, and progress.
Cheers,
Doc
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