I’ll admit I have a lot of mixed thoughts about using the New Year as an occasion to make change. On the one hand, I’m deeply interested in, and a big believer in the importance of self-reflection and thoughtful decision making regarding our life choices. To the extent that we engage in this type of work on the occasion of the New Year, I’m a fan. But I also am a keen observer of our follies as humans, and the typical way that I see people implementing change at the New Year generally makes me shake my head. Resolutions– a promise to do better– are pretty ineffective. Telling yourself, or anyone else, to try harder doesn’t usually work.
Sometimes we live according to promises we make ourselves, but usually, we break these promises. The idea of a radical change at the turning of the calendar seems… unlikely. Moreover, when we break these promises, we often feel worse about ourselves. And given the repetitive nature of broken promises, this can lead us to abandon the whole enterprise, which feels like a wasted opportunity.
This year, maybe try a New Year’s goal. However, selecting the goal is only step one. In this model, a goal is distinct from a process; it’s not something like “I’m going to go to the gym three times per week” or “I’m going to get fit.” Instead, it needs to be something highly specific, where success or failure is clear. Something like, “I’m going to be able to do a pull-up (or 10)” or “I’m going to pay off my credit card.” Whatever this goal is, it should be realistic, and it should be important. It should also be something that requires sustained effort to achieve– if you can get it done in just a few weeks, think bigger. Lastly, the goal should be something that is largely in your control. World peace or marital bliss or a great relationship with a certain person are all worthwhile, but are difficult to achieve without some significant outside cooperation.
Great, goal selected. If we stop here, 99% likely this will die on the bonfire of New Years Resolutions past. The next step is to map out a plan of how this goal will be achieved. When does the effort start (ahem, now?), what is entailed, and at what frequency. If the goal is to save $10,000, that means saving $833/month, or $192/week. How is that going to happen? If the goal is to do a pullup, what exercises need to be done first? What’s the progression? If the goal is to be able to run 10k, what’s the first step on the training regimen? The second?
The plan we make also needs to be specific, and realistic. If I say my goal is to do a pullup, and I’ll achieve this by going to the gym for 2 hours per day, that’s not going to work. For one, there’s no way my schedule will allow it and two, simply being in the gym will not accomplish much. If you cannot figure out a plan to achieve the goal, maybe the goal needs to be revised. Whatever the plan is, write it down. Put it on a piece of paper, and then put that paper in a place you’ll see it on the regular: your bathroom mirror, the coffee maker, somewhere that it will live as a reminder.
The important idea here is that we marry a concrete goal with a well-considered process. Then, on a day-to-day basis, we can hold ourselves accountable to the process we’ve created– the goal will take care of itself. In fact, the goal is a forcing function for us to spend time improving our process. The goal is an opportunity for us to be concrete with ourselves about hat daily changes we want to make. Without goals, processes can get sloppy (or be non-existent). However, goals without a way of realistic achieving them are just fantasies that will be perpetually lusted after but never realized. Pick a goal, and then map out how you get there.
Lastly, if this style of New Year’s change is not your speed, I’ve written about New Years stuff before. You can read the older writings here and here.
Whatever you decide is right for you in the New Year, I hope it's filled with love, health, and happiness.
Cheers,
Doc
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